gail posted on March 17, 2010 20:25
So you are on your way to the barn. It's a beautiful day, and you have a perfect vision of what your ride will be like. You envision your horse standing at the gate waiting for your arrival, excited to leave his friends and hay, and to come inside and hang out with you.
When you get to the barn your horse has its hindquarters facing you, his head buried in the hay and all his friends around. That’s OK; he just doesn’t know I’m here you think to yourself. As you unlatch the gate, his head turns toward you and then quickly away as your horse walks away to the farthest end of the field. Suddenly you get a sinking feeling – oh no! - it's going to be one of THOSE days.
All of us have a goal with our horses. For some, it's to go to the Olympics. For others, it's to enjoy a quiet trail ride in the forest. For yet others, it's to have our horses be happy to greet us when we arrive at the barn. No matter what your goal is, remember your horse is your partner, and that a partner by definition, is someone who plays/works with another on the same side or team. Does this mean that partners see eye to eye on everything? Definitely not! We do not always have to see eye to eye to get along. Sometimes it is about compromise. Sometimes, it is about respecting their view and standing strong in your own.
All too often, we take the actions of our horses very personally. Before you do this, take a look in the mirror. Have you ever had a day where you had a perfect vision for your day and someone entered into your space with their own, very different perfect vision for day?
Well, when this happens it is important that you look at your overall goal : a great day with your horse. Maybe this means that today will be about strengthening your bond -- slowing down the intensity and having some fun. Maybe you could hang out with your horse at the hay first; bring your brushes out there and groom in the sunshine amongst his friends, before he gets brought in to be tacked up. Perhaps your training ride could be a relaxing ride.
You can still achieve your goal. You just may take a different path to get there.
Partnerships include respect and trust. Remember that this is a two way street. Understand that respect and trust can not be demanded; they must be earned.
In order to earn respect, we cannot let our horses do whatever they want whenever they want. You cannot be a door mat. A horse needs guidance and direction from you. He needs you to follow through with the requests you make -- not by intimidation, but by asking your horse for specific actions…weather he wants to do them or not.
By grooming and spending time outside with your horse, you are still following through with what you wanted, but are also developing the relationship and bond between you.
You can develop trust by getting control of your horse without inflicting pain. As your horse starts to understand the process of your guidance and direction without pain, he will start to develop trust. Your consistency with your requests and responses will enable trust to grow.
True partnership is a result of simple control which leads to respect, and control without pain leading to trust. Your horse will learn to accept the subordinate role in exchange for security and fair treatment. Each partner gets and gives something. This motivates both sides to continue to build the bond and relationship.
So when things look like they are not going exactly as planned when you get to the barn, or even part way through a ride, take a deep breath, remember your goal, and set a plan that will have you and your equine partner working together to achieve that goal.
Happy Riding!
Gail Haynes
E.C. L2 Western Coach
John Lyons Certified Trainer